I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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