Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
