i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
