Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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