Acid is not a monday night drug
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
