I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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