I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
