even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
