I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
