he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Terrible idea I love it
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
