People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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