i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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