i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
