I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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