i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
