I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
