You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
