i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize