lets start a swedish sibling band together
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
false alarm, still single
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