I should be sponsored by Trojan
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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