look no pants
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
