She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have aggressive nipples.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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