Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You're a waste of cheezeits
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
