i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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