Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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