Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
