Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize