If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
