He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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