You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
