So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
