sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
