im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
