we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
