We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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