Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
