I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
