I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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