So drunk its hurt
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
