so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
