everyone is single if you try hard enough
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
