He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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