Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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