I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
