Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
