rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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