Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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