Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the condom got lost in my hair
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You took a bar mat shot.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
