that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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