he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
