Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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