making cat noises will not fix the situation.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
