Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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