please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she looked like the before picture.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
