he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i would punch a child for taco bell
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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