Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
