WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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