Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
