i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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