I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
