Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
