Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
