a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
