And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
