"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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