My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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