Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
