I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
