the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
