Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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