I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
